People stray for a multitude of reasons, and sometimes those reasons do correlate with marital dysfunction, like insecurity, conflict avoidance, lack of connection or sex, or just plain loneliness.
Other times, an affair can be a way—albeit, a potentially destructive one—of self-discovery and searching for a new or lost identity. Why would someone who is supposedly in a happy marriage risk it all for a cheap thrill?
In either case, understanding why the infidelity occurred and making sense of the actions that led up to it will most likely lead to some clarity that helps light the path for where two people go from here. The future of a marriage post-affair is completely dependent on how both people process the transgression. These earth-shattering events have a way of bringing about the most honest, deepest conversations two people in a relationship can have.
Of course, this all depends on if both people are willing to do the work necessary to rebuild things. Renowned relationship therapist Esther Perel says that sometimes an affair can actually help to re-shape a relationship and make it new again. In some instances of infidelity, the breach of trust and betrayal was so deep that it does, in fact, break that first marriage.
The question then becomes: Would you like to create a second one together? J Fam Psychol. Wang, Wendy. Who Cheats More? The Demographics of Infidelity in America. We encourage members of the media interested in learning more about the people and projects behind the work of the Institute for Family Studies to get started by perusing our "Media Kit" materials.
Thanks for your interest in supporting the work of The Institute for Family Studies. Please mail support checks to the address below:. The Institute for Family Studies P. Box Charlottesville, VA If you would like to donate online, please click the button below to be taken to our donation form:.
IFS on Patreon. The Institute for Family Studies is a c 3 organization. Your donation will be tax-deductible. January 10, Who Cheats More? Highlights Print Post. Related Posts. Dating , Single Life , Religion. Brown and W. Bradford Wilcox. Child Care , Public Policy , Religion. Select personalised content. Create a personalised content profile. Measure ad performance. Select basic ads. Create a personalised ads profile. Select personalised ads.
Apply market research to generate audience insights. Measure content performance. Develop and improve products. List of Partners vendors. There are many reasons why married people cheat. Risk factors such as personality disorders and childhood issues, as well as opportunities such as social media and poor boundaries, can increase the chance that one of these reasons will actually lead to some type of affair.
Frustration in the marriage is one common trigger; the cheater may make several attempts to solve problems to no avail. Maybe they had second thoughts about getting married or they were jealous over the attention is given to a new baby and neither had the skill set to communicate these feelings. Perhaps the straying spouse has childhood baggage — neglect, abuse, or a parent who cheated — that interferes with his or her ability to maintain a committed relationship.
Less often, the cheater doesn't value monogamy, lacks empathy, or simply doesn't care about the consequences. We will take a look at a number of risk factors and causes for cheating, but it's important to point out upfront that a partner doesn't cause their spouse to cheat.
Whether it was a cry for help, an exit strategy, or a means to get revenge after being cheated on themselves, the cheater alone is responsible for cheating. Men are more likely to have affairs than women and are often seeking more sex or attention. So sex becomes an important path to connection and intimacy.
If men aren't sexually satisfied for instance, if their spouse declines sex often , they take that rejection to heart, and it can easily translate to feeling "unloved. When women cheat, they're often trying to fill an emotional void. Women are more likely to feel unappreciated or ignored, and seek the emotional intimacy of an extramarital relationship.
An affair is more often a "transitional" partner for the woman as a way to end the relationship. She is seriously looking to leave her marriage and this other person helps her do just that. That's not to say that sexual satisfaction isn't a primary driver of affairs for wives as well as husbands.
Similarly, boredom with the marital relationship may lead both men and women to cheat. In one study of men and women who were actively pursuing or involved in extramarital affairs, both genders said they were hoping to improve their sex lives—because they felt their primary relationship was lacking between the sheets.
There's a myriad of reasons or causes why men or women may engage in an extramarital liaison, but certain risk factors—either with one of the individuals or the marriage as a whole—increase the odds it will happen. The general rule is that it takes two to tango, or in this case, to mess up their marriage with an affair, but there are certainly exceptions.
Individual factors that may increase the chance of infidelity include:. I felt like I could speak at him for minutes and throw a bunch out there, but he had a great way of picking out the most important part of what I was trying to say. He did a great job facilitating the discussion that helped me clarify my thoughts and communicate with my partner.
My partner and I had multiple sessions with Stephen and both felt very comfortable speaking to him. Thank you very much, Stephen, for being here for us. Cheating statistics can vary wildly from study to study because many people may have difficulty admitting to cheating.
However, a more recent study in concludes that the percentages of cheating spouses for both men and women are similar. Most importantly, this article ends by describing various recommendations for more research on advancing the study of sexual infidelity.
Thus, while these statistics are scientifically proven, experts still believe additional work is needed to get more accurate results. These cheating statistics may not include cheating men and women who were dishonest when asked if they exhibited cheating behavior in the past.
Additionally, cheating could mean different things to different people. For example, a couple could decide that the line to cheating on their partner might involve flirting with someone else or any other small interactions that could be signs of a budding relationship.
In contrast, others may have more specific physical behaviors that constitute crossing the line. Another common perception of cheating spouses is that they had sex with someone else, but other people may believe that cheating is sexual dissatisfaction alone.
Regardless, cheating behavior can be construed in various ways, making it important for couples to establish cheating principles to prevent cheating infidelity. Cheating men and women have various reasons for engaging in infidelity, such as not feeling satisfied in their relationship or excusing the decision to cheat is sexual dissatisfaction.
Despite the relatively high number of divorces in the United States because of a cheating spouse, couples can find ways to stay together if they deeply care about the relationship. If men or women cheat on their spouses, these are three possible ways that the other party could find out about the incident:. Each of these methods may lead to some form of confrontation from the cheater or the cheated, but this meeting can shed some much-needed light on the relationship.
Some affairs may destroy a relationship, while others may help people change their cheating behavior. If anyone, women or men, has cheated on their spouses, getting back into the good graces of their partners may take time. People may cheat on their partners for personal issues that could only be solved by leaving the marriage.
Others cheat on their spouses because of miscommunication, which could be fixed through marriage counseling sessions and self-reflection.
Every marriage is different, and what works for one couple may not work for another. If two people are committed to the relationship, they may hope to save the marriage even after someone admitted to cheating.
Is a cheater always a cheater after the initial event? There are many conflicting answers to this question.
0コメント